Filippo Rossi
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Insights · For young people

No one can live your life for you.

Every teenager should be supported in their own choices and not in the choices others have made for them. At this stage it's easy to make mistakes, but mistakes are how we learn. So we must point out the Way but let them choose their own, and we must allow them to live it to the full.

  1. “What exactly do I want to do when I grow up?”

    When I was young I often asked myself this, and today I'm convinced that being able to answer this question as early as possible makes all the difference.

    Think about it for a moment: if someone asked you right now, what would you say? “I don't know”, “good question!”, “well, lots of things”? These are the most common answers, sadly even among adults. Without a destination you drift like a boat with no course, wherever the wind pushes it: where the others go, or wherever chance takes you. With a destination, on the other hand, every choice makes sense: what to study, what to give your time to, what to let go of.

    “I meet a great many people who, if I ask them the question ‘what exactly do you want to do when you grow up?’, cannot give an answer, because they reject everything they know, yet ignore all the remaining possibilities.”
    Gocce di consapevolezza, p. 43
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    Try this. Take a sheet of paper and write at the top: “What exactly do I want to do when I grow up?” Then give yourself an hour to answer. It doesn't matter how much you write; what matters is that you take all the time you need to think it over and that your answer is precise: what you want to do, how, where. When you've finished, keep the sheet and read it again in a few months.

  2. The fear of making mistakes

    A bad grade, an embarrassing moment, a lost match: sometimes the fear of getting it wrong is so strong that you'd rather not even try. It's true that if you don't try, you don't make mistakes; but you don't learn either. I have made many mistakes, and by making them I learned. A mistake doesn't say who you are: it shows you what you're still missing, and so where to start again. And a grade, even the worst one, judges a piece of work, not the person who did it.

    “If you do what you are told and you do it well, it goes without saying that you knew how and were able to do it, and so you put your knowledge into practice. If instead you do everything you can and you make a mistake, in that case you don't have the knowledge and don't know how to do it, that is, you are learning. Here is the ‘secret step’. When you make a mistake, you are learning.”
    All'Alba e al Tramonto, p. 87
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  3. Two young people smile during a game with a hoop at Kindle
  4. Pleasing everyone

    You start at a new school. On the first day you watch the others and, without realising it, you start talking like them, laughing at their jokes, dressing the same way. You do it to be accepted, and that's understandable: nobody wants to be left alone. But know this: if you keep doing it, over time you risk no longer knowing what you really like.

    At your age friends matter, and a lot; the point is not to lose yourself just to stay in the group. Remember: a true friend wants you as you are.

    “Not everyone will approve of you. You were not born to please everyone. You were born to become real.”
    Il Centro Magnetico, l'Indipendenza e il Rito di Passaggio, Educare all'amore per la vita, vol. 4, p. 183
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    Try this. For a few days, when you're with your group, watch yourself without judging: do you change your tone of voice, the way you stand, even your opinion, just to be approved of? You don't have to correct anything: for now it's enough to notice. And if you catch yourself saying “yes” just so as not to upset someone, say “no” at least once.

  5. Your own path

    Your parents love you and, like all parents, they dream of something for you. Sometimes that dream matches yours, sometimes it doesn't: maybe everyone in your family is a lawyer and you love building things with your hands. Listen to them, because they've known life longer than you have; but remember that you are the one walking the path. It isn't about rebelling or obeying: it's about understanding what you're good at and what you love doing, and having the courage to say so, with respect.

    “Every individual, I, you, he, is a unique and unrepeatable being and has the right and the duty to grow, to mature, to experience their own note, their own personal base frequency, which resonates with their emotional and psychic life, with the value that one is, with the talent that one is.”
    Gocce di consapevolezza, p. 41
    To go deeperBuy the book
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  7. Being present in what you do

    Have you ever read a whole page and, at the end, remembered nothing of it? Your eyes were reading, but you were somewhere else. It happens to everyone, more often than we think: we eat without tasting, we listen to a friend while thinking about something else. Being present means truly being there, with your head and your body, in whatever you have in your hands, even the simplest thing. Nobody teaches us to be present in the moment, nobody teaches us to really listen. Those who understand that presence in life is worth everything know that it is learned through practice, and as we become more and more present, everything changes inside and outside us. The way you study, play and spend time with others changes, you become a person free to choose, and you rediscover that Life is wonderful!

    “While washing a plate, one can be completely present to the movement of the hand, to the feeling of the water, to the particular sound it makes. This means not being lost in thought, but taking part fully in the simple act one is engaged in, which thus becomes a moment of living awareness.”
    I tipi psicologici, p. 52
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A group of young people laughing together during Change Your Life Kindle
For girls and boys aged 10 to 17

You'll learn all of this at Change Your Life Kindle

Six days to spend together at the Borgo del Monte Antico, with educators by your side at every moment. There you learn to steer your own life, working on five things together:

  • Self-awareness understanding how your mind, your emotions and your body work, and knowing that a grade is not a judgement on you
  • Responsible freedom discovering that freedom isn't doing whatever you want, but choosing who to be
  • Inner beauty recognising what has value beyond appearances, without constantly measuring yourself against others
  • Unity being part of a group and learning to count on others
  • Three-Dimensional Reading training your intuitive mind, so you can find the answers to your questions on your own

Then, at home, four weeks of practice, about half an hour a day, with a facilitator. And your tutor stays with you, always there for you, whenever you need them.

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You are much more than you think you are!

It's the phrase that guides Change Your Life Kindle, the experience I offer to girls and boys aged 10 to 17: six days together to understand how the mind, emotions and body work, to learn to ask questions and to count on one another. If you're curious, talk to your parents about it: the first step is a conversation with an educator, with no obligation.

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